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List W – Mark Twain – Quotes


  1. Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.” — Mark Twain
  2. We Americans… bear the ark of liberties of the world.” — Mark Twain
  3. We are all alike, on the inside.” — Mark Twain
  4. We have the best government that money can buy.” — Mark Twain
  5. What a wee little part of a person’s life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.” — Mark Twain
  6. What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.” — Mark Twain
  7. What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.” — Mark Twain
  8. When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.” — Mark Twain
  9. When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.” — Mark Twain
  10. When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.” — Mark Twain
  11. When in doubt tell the truth.” — Mark Twain
  12. When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.” —Mark Twain
  13. When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.” — Mark Twain
  14. When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.” — Mark Twain
  15. When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.” — Mark Twain
  16. When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.” — Mark Twain
  17. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” — Mark Twain
  18. Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.” — Mark Twain
  19. Why shouldn’t truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.” — Mark Twain
  20. Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.” — Mark Twain
  21. Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.” — Mark Twain
  22. Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.” — Mark Twain
  23. Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.” — Mark Twain
  24. Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” — Mark Twain

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